At some point in the ministry, you will hear people talk about "living in the fishbowl." This means that your life as a pastor's family seems to be "out there" for all to see all the time. It can be stressful, but it can also be exciting.
The first thing that comes to mind when I hear people refer to the "fishbowl" is a sticker on my car. "What?" you might say, but it's true. See, in order to park in "clergy parking" at most hospitals, you must have a clergy sticker on your car. Because we sometimes use both his car and mine, we have stickers on both of them. That little blue sticker keeps me in check while driving better than a police officer would. Whenever I think about cutting someone off or being rude, I think of that little sticker. My witness on the road could be the turning point in someone's life. Would I really want to jeopardize that for a little inconvenience? That's just a small example of the fishbowl. People are always watching to see how you respond and react.
Especially at first, this can be very nerve-wracking! The thought that people are judging your behavior (and people show up at the oddest places and times!) can be frightening. In actuality, it can be helpful and hurtful. It is helpful when it reminds you to have patience with the long lines/rude people/car that just cut you off. In this way, I find that the motivation of "someone from the congregation might see" has kept me from "little sins" (you know, those sins that you excuse in your mind because "they aren't a big deal" when actually they are!). It's helpful when, through my response, I can help a person see Christ's love.
It can hurt, though. It's stressful. Just thinking that there is no place where you can "let loose" and relax equals stress. Other people's misunderstandings of your reactions can hurt. When you have one of those times when you are just human and mess up- it hurts. God can still use those times, though. So you messed up? It's ok- make it right. Confess it to God. Apologize if you need to. Share it (appropriately) in public as a lesson to others. God knows you aren't perfect and eventually your congregation will find that out, too!
Instead of thinking that I'm "trapped" in the fishbowl, I like to think of it as an adventure! How can God use the situations of my life for His good? How can I use my struggles to encourage others? This fishbowl seems more and more like an ocean everyday!
